We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

e.e. cummings

Continuing The { j } List...

49. Serve exuberantly. 50. Write quotes in chalk on public sidewalks and spaces that need some life. 51. Leave little anonymous gifts around tagged with "Something for You". 52. Visit makepovertyhistory.org

53. Make my CousCous Salad (well, at least I think it's mine, because I didn't follow a recipe):

• 2 cups cooked CousCous
• 1 cup petite peas
• Chopped fresh mint (to taste)
• Chopped fresh cilantro (to taste)
• 3/4 c chopped cucumber
• 1 T Olive Oil
• 1 T fresh lime juice
• A dash of salt

Today...

I feel sleepless...I'll wake up every two hours during the night just to stare irritably at the red digits praying for sleep to come again...I dreamt that I had bought a boxy purple 2-door Jeep Cherokee last night bent on lifting it and becoming a Jeep Jammer...I've been so anxious lately about finding a decent job to perfectly coexist with my grad school hours and to independently support myself. Everyday when work runs out I'm back on the job trail clicking through endless jobs that have little to nothing to do with my education or skills. It's really nervewracking. Looking at the recent trends of the job market, I should have gone to school to become a truckdriver or a Fork Lift operator. Now here's one that caught my eye...a puppy salesman for the business of Moondoggies. Tempting? Maybe.

I've toyed with the idea of tacking on something in the Allied Health Field just to have no worries about finding a for-sure job, but Mom wisely reminded me to not compromise the work that I see myself loving the most for the sake of practicality. Just because I can't see the top of the ladder doesn't mean I shouldn't take the first step.

I've come to the conclusion that these SoCal mountains creep me out a little bit. At night, I can really look at them a long time and enjoy them hosting millions of twinkling lights (representing the bloated real estate market and the overpopulation of greater LA, but nonetheless...). But during the day, I look at them as imposing foreign sand heaps, like we have been banished to living in the Valley of the Moon sunk into a deep crater of smog, corruption, and a relentless blazing 110 degree furnace. A fallen moon population. Weird, huh? That should creep you out too :)

Today I wish my plane would take me even beyond Berkeley. Today I feel like traveling. I'm craving a killer dark Turkish coffee with some Russian honeycake, to sit in a nameless outside cafe in Lucca and write for hours with time cadenced only by the white noise of foreign languages, to study in an international culinary school, to have a lively conversation with a wise old woman who has lived a good, fulfilling life, try on Pashmina scarves in an outdoor market in myriads of different colors, set up a base camp and climb a mysterious, unknown mountain, and to ride a bike through an ancient civilization.

Today is full of:

1. Flight Itineraries to Berkeley and last-minute packing
2. A Green Tea Iced Lemonade
3. Thank-You Cards and postcards to some really dear friends
4. Excitement about health counseling tomorrow
5. Wishing for a sea-kayaking/beach house getaway weekend soon
6. My twist on the CousCous Salad for Lunch
7. The Economist
8. Scrolling the American Job Bank
9. Playing with the idea of the Foreign Service State Exam for the EU
10. Contemplating what our 2nd Floor Disaster Recovery Station is really for (What about a Disastrous Day at Work Recovery Station)

Observation of the day: Southern Californians are unmistakably recognizable by their oversized sunglasses, Vitamin Waters and Venti Lattes always in tote, Green eyeshadow, blinged out car rims, or the fact that they look straight up criminal.

I think this is a phrase that we should practice a lot more in our interpersonal relationships:: “Teach me who you are.”


Lauralen put up the most wonderful pre-graduation pictures that I hadn't seen. Really made my heart ache for our Whitman Block Parties, spring days lounging on the girls' front lawn, and midnight tennis games. This picture was taken right before "The Crew" of us all {Ryan McMiller, Isaac Penalba, Ashley and Spencer Larsen, Lauralen, and I} went out for our very last celebratory dinner during the end of Finals Week.

I'm sitting on the back porch being serenaded by a lone cricket while I sip my Boba Tea. Heidi and I went out for her birthday tonight--a little late because I hadn't seen her since before her birthday. We hung out at the artsy mod Aurora cafe on Mountain View and had a pre-Deja Vu of the day when we turn 80 and will be wiping cheap 99 cent red lipstick off our dentures :) I love these summer nights, but there is still a little hint of missing too. Time will heal.

I know this is a very popular Bible verse, but it really spoke to me again tonight. "You are in my hands like clay in the potter's hands." Isaiah 18:6

7-11 Slushies

I was running around this afternoon getting price quotes on advertising and decided it was the perfect afternoon for a 7-11 slushie. Now, see the slushie actually goes against everything I believe in. It's loaded with sugar, artificial flavors and colors, and I'm sure plenty of cancer-causing agents. But I just can't resist the whizzing slushie machines seemingly always on tumble cycle. Slushies are just too much fun. I also bought a bag of Cheetos. I'm totally massacring my belief system today.

Make Poverty History

"These are the days that must happen to you." Walt Whitman

The French playwright, Jean Genet, wished to be a Zen monk that went out every morning with his empty bowl in his hands and accepted whatever was placed in the bowl that day as his nourishment. What a beautiful, stirring thought. Whatever fills our bowl up for the day can be treated with full attention and love and as simply enough.

I'm making some additions to The { j } List today...
46. Wander aimlessly 47. Buy a chicken taco for a homeless person. 48. Park 3 blocks from where you intend to go and acquaint yourself with the undiscovered neighborhoods that fall between...

I'm learning to get lost a little more, take a back corridor, wait for the serendipitous encounter, see the offroad views even of my home country that I previously thought I was so familar with. I had a destination in mind last night when Matt and I headed to downtown Riverside. But we ended up stumbling across a small local oldies car show on the way to the Mission Inn. So I hit the brakes and we meandered through the cars and mingled with laughing, hard-working families. I actually felt at home in this strange neighborhood. The restored baby-blue Buicks, a '72 Chevy Malibu, lots of homestyle family jokes over the microphone, ball caps, a shiny Hemi 472, and camping chairs. I felt like I had walked home into a Moore family reunion.

Thoughts for this weekend: I'm going to stock my beach bag full of licorice, ginger candy, wasabi rice crackers, my watercolors, some Julie Cameron, and ride the Surfline to Balboa Beach. Really quite excited about the public transportation thing because (a) it brings back sweet memories of Europe, (b) I can read my book and not watch the road, and (c) no headaches about where to park when I arrive.

My Circa 1940's Summer Home

This is Tai. I believe he is reprimanding me here.

Matt swore that my comforter completed the look of the 40's house; I fervently disagree and contest that this comforter is quite lotus and serene as it was in my apartment at Walla Walla with icy mint walls and other greens to mellow it out.

Honey + 2 Darjeeling Tea Bags: Joy in the simplest of ways

It's an "I Love Lucy" Day Everyday!


Check out the avocado green ancient dishwasher that doesn't suds up anymore.